It all started with MySpace. I think my friend Teresa got me started… I’m not sure. But I got myself a profile and started to explore. Found myself some cranky chefs and some smart writers and I was off! Fighting, opining, and surprisingly making friends. Real friends. I did not suddenly find a ton of people that I had lost contact with. I am just old enough that the only place I seem to find lost friends is LinkedIn. Maybe that says something about how much of my life I have spent working. I don’t know. Anyway, as I was saying. I made friends. Real friends. The people I have met are truly good friends. I went to California and stayed a while with Danielle… probably my closest on-line friend. I had alot of fun. I never would have met her if it were not for myspace. When Nick died… I cried for him and his family. He was not even what I would consider a friend. We did not exchange e-mail, we did not chat through IM… we were just in the same groups. I loved his posts, his sense of humor, his openness, his crankiness. It is interesting, how many of us even still… miss his presence in our “digital” lives. So I have this group of people that I can talk books with, or philosophy (if I am feeling like straining my brain). Cooking! And they are into it. They want to talk about it, they are WAY smarter then me about the topic at hand. Its fun. No one I know in person, wants to talk about that stuff… so its great for me to have the fun of it in my digital life.But that is not the only thing that keeps me coming back. I feel like I know these people better than some of my own friends. There is something about the distance that the internet puts between people that gives you the space to be more honest about how you feel. What is happening to you on the inside. There is no outside to be drawn to… there is only the inside. You can’t want to be someone’s friend on the basis of their avatar. That is silly. There is no: too fat, too thin, too smelly… not fashionable enough… no chemistry. There is only what you bring to the table as a thinking, feeling person. So whereas all the dynamics of interpersonal relationships still exist… it feels a bit more intimate. If you are accepted it is because you brought something to the table that was worth peoples time and attention. Of course just like anything else… there is alot of facade and less reality than there appears at first blush. Still it is fascinating to me that I feel many of these folks really are my friends and I can’t wait to meet more of them in the flesh. The digital level of friendship is great… but it can’t replace human contact. We are both spirit and body. You can’t ignore either part. It is just more common to ignore the spirit than the body. The digital world just inverts the the process. Ignore the body and focus on the spirit. Which is kinda nice when you are getting to know people. Because the body is always changing, but the spirit remains constant.So to all my digital friends, Danielle, Lara, Jonathan, Matija and all the rest. I am glad to know you and can’t wait to meet you!
